• Alexandra Lains

Don't ever apologize for having a different outlook on life; Advice on going against the grain

I’ve always been pretty vocal about my opinions on my private profiles and such. I’m someone that tends to not have a filter at times, and I’ll let you know what I’m thinking whether you like it or not and albeit that’s got me into some trouble, I wouldn’t change a thing. I went to a performing arts college conservatory smack dab in the middle of NYC and I was there right before the 2016 election, so being surrounded by peers that had complete opposite views made me want to post even more about what I believed. It was definitely a test of patience and faith.


Last June I started posting political rants on social media, started on TikTok then went to Instagram, and the backlash I received was overflowing. I was having people tell me to kill myself, and I was even having people wish my husband death. The threats to my husband bothered me more because he’s in the military. I already have to worry about his safety on my own, I don’t need a bully reminding me. I was also questioned a lot about how can I, as a woman, vote for someone like former President Trump? I say because I can.

My identity is not found in being a woman. My identity is found in the fact that I was created in the image of God. So if people attack my gender because I voted for a certain individual, then we are dealing with someone that has a different perspective of life than me.


I’ve learned a lot from growing my platforms and being vocal about my beliefs, whether it’s on politics or my faith. I’ve learned a lot from going against what's popular and talking about things that a lot of people will hate me for so I thought I should share them:


1: You are always going to have people hating you. You cannot please everyone on this earth. I like to say that those who spend time looking for faults in others, usually spend no time to correct their own. At some point you have to turn the hate into a positive thing.

Think of it this way: You are always a trending topic in their heads.

So they might think you are doing something wrong by speaking out on things they don’t agree with, but in reality you are doing something right because it’s making them think, it’s making them get out of their bubble and gravitate towards you, towards someone with a different outlook.


2: Get some thick skin. So many people ask me how I do this, how I deal with the hate I receive or even how they should start doing what I do. My first thing is to make sure you have thick skin because It is inevitable that you will receive hate. I’m a huge advocate for mental health. I sadly lost a really good friend from it a few years ago and I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on anyone. Since depression hits so close to home, it's important to recognize that not everyone is strong mentally. Some people cannot take an influx of hate without breaking down and that’s normal. But to be in a field like politics or sadly even stating how much you love Jesus, you will be hated for it. It’s not right, but know that you are strong enough to deal with it, especially with Jesus on your side.


3: Turn to Jesus in times of frustration.

I get really mad at times while seeing some of the messages and comments I receive. I’ve had to remind myself that people in your life, mainly strangers, will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you badly. Let God deal with the things they do, because hate will consume you. It’s not your job to deal with others hatefulness. Trust that God has a handle on it, and focus on yourself.

I’ve really been working on my relationship with Jesus a lot more, and there have been multiple times a day where I’ve had to turn to him and tell him take my frustrations away. Take my anger away. Those moments of negativity is Satan fueling you. You don’t want that.

I’ve learned the hard way. You cannot always count on or expect people to respect your feelings or beliefs. Even if you respect theirs. Being a good person doesn’t guarantee that others will be good people too.

You only have control over yourself and how you choose to be as a person. As for others, you can only choose to accept them or walk away.


Whether it's being vocal about politics, religion, or other topics that tend to spark controversial debate, always stand strong in your convictions.

You cannot control someones behavior; nor do you want that burden, but you should never apologize for standing up for your beliefs.

Do not ever apologize for standing up for the unborn, for praising Jesus, for going against the grain and being a difference in your community or on social media. Don’t ever be sorry for having a different outlook on life.

They will continue to try and silence you, but I always like to say, if you have to silence your opposition, you no longer have a good point. So keep fighting for what’s right, keep being patriotic and faithful and you’ll be coming out on top in the end.


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