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  • Writer's pictureAlexandra Harley

Sadness doesn't need to be justified.

I'd like to say that I was a pretty happy child. Full of energy and big dreams. I have wonderful parents that made sure growing up was comfortable. I guess you could say I was spoiled, but I appreciated everything my parents have done for me, and continue to do. But I also worked my ass off when I got older, and if there were things that I wanted, I worked for them myself.

But my life wasn't perfect. And it still isn't.

No, I didn't have a dead beat dad, no I wasn't adopted, no I wasn't in some tragic accident that left me with ptsd & thank god honestly. But do I need any of those reasons to be sad?

I went through life with people always making assumptions about me.

"Oh you're so rich"

"You don't know what being lonely is like."

"Your life is perfect."

wrong, Wrong, WRONG.

My life is far from perfect.

From fights in the family, to deaths, and suicides, and even brain tumors, again, far from perfect.

But my point in all of this is, you don't need to compare the reason for your sadness.

Some may look at this and think this is ridiculous. "How can she be sad?" & "She should be happy that her life isn't worse."

But people fail to realize that everyone goes through something, and comparing and competing with who has the tougher, more depressed life, is crazy.

You don't need to qualify for depression and anxiety.

It's like falling off your bike and scraping your knee and being angry at yourself for even feeling an ounce of pain when someone else fell and broke their leg.

Their pain may be more intense, but you are feeling pain too. And you're allowed to cry.

Saying someone can't be sad because someone else has it worse is just like saying that someone can't be happy because someone else has it better.

Read that back.

It's bullshit.

This society, this generation, revolves around comparison.

We are constantly comparing ourselves to others we see on social media. I do it Every.Single.Day.

And I'm sure people compare themselves to the pictures I post.

Listen, my pictures on instagram really only show my happy moments.


We are a sad generation with happy pictures.

We need to stop.

No one compares the Sun and the Moon.

So why are we constantly comparing our lives, our struggles, our happiness with those around us?

We all have shit going on. We all have battles to face. You aren't any less of a person because you're 16 and haven't gone to the Olympics, or 21 and haven't moved out of your parents house, or even 35 with no kids.

DO NOT compare your Chapter 1 with someone's Chapter 20.

Everyone has their timeline.


If I want to be sad. Let me be sad. No one is entitled to an emotion.

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Jul 27, 2021

I think the 'brag and gag' aspect of social media has had a lot to do with it. I don't think I ever heard the expression "fake it till you make it" until social media came along. Don't get me wrong. I have enjoyed public discourse aspect of social media. That is until someone decided it was absolutely necessary to censor philosophical discussions and the exchange of ideas publicly.


Nov 25, 2020

"So why are we constantly comparing our lives, our struggles, our happiness with those around us"?

When we go to see a great concert and the performer gets a standing ovation, we secretly wish, if we are honest, that we could have one too. The human spirit deeply, deeply desires this. Every single one of us wants applause, accolades, approval---praise. The problem is, it doesn't last. After Monday night's great concert, people will want to know what I will do next. OMG! What will they expect to see of me Friday night? And so, our whole life is trying to get praise from our performance. If we don't meet others' expectations, and fall short, we lead a lousy life. We…

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