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  • Writer's pictureAlexandra Harley

The Longer the distance, The bigger the love.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.

It's true.

But it doesn't mean I like it.

For those who are not familiar with my relationship, I am engaged to the most amazing human in the entire world. He is an active duty army soldier and let me tell YOU, I love seeing my man in a uniform. (but that's not why we are here.)

We met on Instagram...cliche I KNOW. I slid into his Dm's and the rest is history.

But with meeting someone online, comes not necessarily being able to date that person "normally". Top the fact that he's In the military and BAM! long distance relationship.

I knew what I was signing up for but boy did I underestimate just how hard it would be.

Constantly people are throwing criticism into the fire on long distance relationships and how "they don't last" and "why would you date someone that you didn't meet in person first", and it makes me think, why do people still underestimate the authenticity of a long distance relationship? I fell in love with his soul before I could even touch his skin. If that isn't true love then please tell me what is?

For those who are going through a long distance relationship like me, I can sit here and tell you the ways to make it easier but let's be real, it's never easy. In fact, the goodbye's only get harder. I'm not going to sit here and tell you it gets easier because it doesn't. But if you truly love that person you will go through the pain of not seeing them, because for me, the pain of never seeing him again is obviously far worse to think about, then the pain of not seeing him for just a few months.

Listen, I get it. Long distance is crazy. That a person could wait months, cross oceans, trek miles and miles just to see one person for a few short moments with the one they love. But I mean at the end of the day, we are all looking for that aren't we?

And that feeling of seeing them after so many months is truly incredible. It's like we just met all over again.

But sometimes, I really hate it. Those days when I can literally feel every single mile between me and him. When I get jealous of the people that get to see him everyday.

When the wifi SUCKS and I end up yelling at my phone like a mad woman because the call keeps disconnecting. (I mean it's literally SO annoying).

It feels like hell, loving him in my sleep and waking up alone.

But distance teaches us to constantly appreciate the days that we are able to spend together. It teaches us the definition of patience. It's a constant reminder that every moment together is special, and every second together should be cherished.

Do you want some genuine advice on long distance relationships?

  1. If the relationship matters, the distance doesn't.

  2. Trust more & doubt less.

  3. Talk through ALL of the struggles and hard feelings.

  4. Make time for each other.

  5. And always remember that they are worth the wait.

But I'll tell you the number one thing that keeps me going.

What keeps pushing me is knowing that one day it'll be 3 am.

and I won't be alone.

I won't have to call him or text him.

I won't be crying because I miss him so much.

Because one day at 3 am I'll wake up with him right next to me.

instead of miles away.

And I know that in the end, it was worth the wait.

1,054 views2 comments


Jay Thomas
Jay Thomas
Dec 24, 2022

Being an Army wife is not a life for the faint of heart. With moving around many times, the deployments all bring sadness and a mountain of other emotions. You are never alone. Army wives' support each other when your people are away.

Thank you for your service!


Dmitri Biletzki
Dmitri Biletzki
Dec 02, 2022

From My experience, Only for minority amount of people, such relationship rules will work. Most people want to stay as a family, husband, wife and children together physically. Children need their parents physically close. Most partners, need their partner physically close. Couples who have busy life and love their space and don't want/ready to grow the next generation of people such arrangements might work for some time.

Notice that even the feature image of your article illustrates a physical face to face relationship and not you both interacting online.

So Distance does matter from my experience.

Dmitri Biletzki, Clinical Social worker and a Therapist.

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